Me (in pink) with my Dad, Sister & Crazy Dog (no, really she was) KoKo
Mother/Son DanceYou may have noticed that RZ & I included most traditions at our Reception & did them immediately to get the formalities out of the way of the party. Grand Entrance, First Dance, Toasts.
Did you wonder about the Father/Daughter & Mother/Son Dances?
I had a tough time planning the Parent Dances because my Dad died when I was younger. My feelings about these dances grew more & more complicated as our Wedding drew near, making a final decision that much harder. RZ knew I was struggling & offered to skip the Mother/Son Dance but that wasn't an option. RZ, his Mom & their relationship deserved that moment &, later, that memory.
One option was a Bride/Someone Dance. My sister danced with my Grandpa at her wedding but he is no longer with us either. Still, I could be hip & dance with my Mom. Or dance with my Uncles who walked me down the aisle. Sweet, definitely. My fear was I would get sad & emotional wishing my Dad was there to dance with me. I had no desire to be a crying, slobbering Bride at our Wedding.
The other option was a Mother/Son Dance only. Now this had to be handled delicately as well. The dance had to be perfectly placed so it garnered attention but not so much fanfare that I got sad about my Dad & our missing dance. Was this mission impossible?
Just in case you're worried that I'm a crazy mess, I'm truly not. One thing I've learned is that you learn to live with the death of a parent but you never get over it. On an emotional day like my Wedding, I expected it might be a day when my heart sobbed at the knowledge of my Dad being gone.
I have a lot of people to thank for their patience & understanding over this issue. RZ who would have done anything I wished to keep me smiling. My bridesmaids for listening to my worries & reassuring me it would work out. Gary of The Love Jones Band for not pushing me to decide whether "What A Wonderful World" would be a Bride/Someone Dance or a Bridal Party Dance. Eileen of An Affair to Remember for taking my feelings into consideration, offering suggestions &, ultimately, scheduling the Mother/Son Dance to best fit my needs.
In the end, RZ & his Mom danced to "In My Life" by The Beatles as the Second Course was served. Our guests were seated & able to focus on them while I could drown my sorrows in my Caprese Salad. My cousin/bridesmaid joined me at the sweetheart table to keep me company throughout the dance. I wasn't alone with my thoughts which was a good thing. With the proper placement of the dance & my bridesmaid by my side, I didn't feel much sadness. I felt mostly joy in my heart & I knew the angels were near. All's well that ends well.
Did you wonder about the Father/Daughter & Mother/Son Dances?
I had a tough time planning the Parent Dances because my Dad died when I was younger. My feelings about these dances grew more & more complicated as our Wedding drew near, making a final decision that much harder. RZ knew I was struggling & offered to skip the Mother/Son Dance but that wasn't an option. RZ, his Mom & their relationship deserved that moment &, later, that memory.
One option was a Bride/Someone Dance. My sister danced with my Grandpa at her wedding but he is no longer with us either. Still, I could be hip & dance with my Mom. Or dance with my Uncles who walked me down the aisle. Sweet, definitely. My fear was I would get sad & emotional wishing my Dad was there to dance with me. I had no desire to be a crying, slobbering Bride at our Wedding.
The other option was a Mother/Son Dance only. Now this had to be handled delicately as well. The dance had to be perfectly placed so it garnered attention but not so much fanfare that I got sad about my Dad & our missing dance. Was this mission impossible?
Just in case you're worried that I'm a crazy mess, I'm truly not. One thing I've learned is that you learn to live with the death of a parent but you never get over it. On an emotional day like my Wedding, I expected it might be a day when my heart sobbed at the knowledge of my Dad being gone.
I have a lot of people to thank for their patience & understanding over this issue. RZ who would have done anything I wished to keep me smiling. My bridesmaids for listening to my worries & reassuring me it would work out. Gary of The Love Jones Band for not pushing me to decide whether "What A Wonderful World" would be a Bride/Someone Dance or a Bridal Party Dance. Eileen of An Affair to Remember for taking my feelings into consideration, offering suggestions &, ultimately, scheduling the Mother/Son Dance to best fit my needs.
In the end, RZ & his Mom danced to "In My Life" by The Beatles as the Second Course was served. Our guests were seated & able to focus on them while I could drown my sorrows in my Caprese Salad. My cousin/bridesmaid joined me at the sweetheart table to keep me company throughout the dance. I wasn't alone with my thoughts which was a good thing. With the proper placement of the dance & my bridesmaid by my side, I didn't feel much sadness. I felt mostly joy in my heart & I knew the angels were near. All's well that ends well.
i just found your blog and I am so glad I did... this is such an emotional and beautiful post. I know you must have missed him so much on your wedding day... "missed" doesn't even come close I bet... I am glad you were able to be surrounded by so many loved ones during the mother/son dance and the entire day! I am following your blog now and looking forward to reading more. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you found my blog too :-) This was a tough post to write but I couldn't write about my wedding without mentioning this, especially if others may be struggling with a similar issue. More fun & light-hearted posts coming soon!!
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