I had no clue of the name drama that lie ahead for me!
Photo by the great Timothy Glenn Photography
Married women, I pop champagne & throw confetti for you! Yes, you. Whether you kept your maiden name, hyphenated your maiden name with your husband's name or took your husband's name, I whole-heartedly support & applaud your decision. The simple, sad truth is that I can't make a decision.
I have seen family & friends take different paths when it came to changing their names, such as my sister who has kept her maiden name & my best friend who took her husband's name. Both are in happy, healthy, loving relationships. Clearly, the decision to change or not change my name has no impact on my marriage. It's a matter of following my heart & doing what's right for me. Throughout our happy engagement, I had no doubt in my mind that I would follow tradition & become Mrs. Husband's Last Name.
We got married last January, officially becoming husband & wife. I changed my name on Facebook. I proudly wore my Mrs. Husband's Last Name hoodie during our Hawaiian honeymoon. I printed business cards with my married name. And the name game stopped there. What had seemed like the best decision for me now filled my mind & heart with doubt.
I still want to take my husband's last name. We are a team, we are partners & our shared last name is an important way for us to reflect that. Agreed. Hyphenation is not in the cards for me, just a personal preference. Agreed. Here's where it gets hard.
The way I see it, I have two options: drop my maiden name & take my husband's last name or drop my middle name, make my maiden name as my middle name & take my husband's last name. Both my middle & maiden names mean the world to me. Ann is my middle name & I was named after my Mom who has the middle name Ann too. I don't want to drop it. Sullivan is my maiden name & it's my Dad's last name (obviously). My Dad died when I was 13 years-old & my maiden name is a connection to him. I don't want to drop it. I have done nothing to change my name in the past (almost) year but that doesn't feel right either.
About two weeks ago, I mustered all the courage I possibly could & filled out the HitchSwitch paperwork to begin the process of changing my name. I decided to go with my first instinct & follow the traditional path of dropping my maiden name & taking my husband's name. As kind, understanding friends & family reminded me, I would always be a Sullivan & my last name has nothing to do with a connection to my Dad. I felt so brave & confident.
And then I cried & cried. The easy, detailed HitchSwitch paperwork arrived days later & I cried & cried some more. Epic meltdown.
Hello, my name is Kathleen Ann Undecided.
Do you plan to or did you change your name? Any advice for an undecided married girl like me?
