Holidays, Newlywed-Style

Oh, the holidays!


I love celebrating the holidays in all their festive glory!  It's the most wonderful time of the year.  The grand holiday marathon starts with spooky Halloween, works its way through family & food-filled Thanksgiving, continues with family & gift-filled Christmas, then ends with the champagne pop of New Year's Eve.  This marathon has been all the sweeter with RZ by my side.  &, honestly, a bit more complicated.


How do you handle holidays as a couple?


We had no formal holiday agreement before I had my pretty sparkler on my finger.  My family is scattered throughout the country with a good chunk in California & a small chunk here in Jersey.  His family lives about one hour away.  For the most part, we spent Thanksgiving with his family.  Then we would spend Christmas apart with our respective families.  Don't even get me started on our senior dog Gucci- he had to split his holidays with us too.  I spent his final Christmas Eve without him while he celebrated with RZ & his family.  Craziness!  This holiday approach served us well for awhile but its days were numbered.  Everything else aside, we missed each other too much.


Cue our first holidays as an engaged couple last year.  There was no question that we would not be spending the holidays apart; those days were in our past.  We, including our new pup Bailey, would be together for the holidays.  We decided to take the split-the-day approach & put as many miles as possible on our car.  RZ & I spent Thanksgiving afternoon chilling with my family, then took off & enjoyed a Thanksgiving feast with his family.  Christmas Eve with his family, Christmas day with my family.  It worked fairly well.   


Now we're facing the holiday season as newlyweds, our very first holidays as husband & wife.  It's so special I can hardly stand it!  This year, we're flying by the seat of our pants & Bailey is coming along for the wild holiday ride.  I suppose we're still searching for that perfect holiday solution that keeps us happy, as well as our families.  Does it exist?  Thanksgiving will be celebrated with his family.  Phew, only one car trip!  Christmas will probably shake down to Christmas Eve with his family & Christmas with my family.  To be decided.


I can't imagine negotiating the holidays once we have kids!  It seems a bit like mission impossible.


One thing we have figured out is that we must celebrate holidays together.  Just as we are better together, holidays are much, much better together.

Photo by/Print available at Etsy in blushface's shop

Hi, My Name Is . . .

Me, on my Wedding Day
I had no clue of the name drama that lie ahead for me!
Photo by the great Timothy Glenn Photography

My full name is Kathleen Ann Undecided.


Married women, I pop champagne & throw confetti for you!  Yes, you.  Whether you kept your maiden name, hyphenated your maiden name with your husband's name or took your husband's name, I whole-heartedly support & applaud your decision.  The simple, sad truth is that I can't make a decision.  


I have seen family & friends take different paths when it came to changing their names, such as my sister who has kept her maiden name & my best friend who took her husband's name.  Both are in happy, healthy, loving relationships.  Clearly, the decision to change or not change my name has no impact on my marriage.  It's a matter of following my heart & doing what's right for me.  Throughout our happy engagement, I had no doubt in my mind that I would follow tradition & become Mrs. Husband's Last Name.    


We got married last January, officially becoming husband & wife.  I changed my name on Facebook.  I proudly wore my Mrs. Husband's Last Name hoodie during our Hawaiian honeymoon.  I printed business cards with my married name.  And the name game stopped there.  What had seemed like the best decision for me now filled my mind & heart with doubt. 


I still want to take my husband's last name.  We are a team, we are partners & our shared last name is an important way for us to reflect that.  Agreed.  Hyphenation is not in the cards for me, just a personal preference.  Agreed.  Here's where it gets hard.  


The way I see it, I have two options: drop my maiden name & take my husband's last name or drop my middle name, make my maiden name as my middle name & take my husband's last name.  Both my middle & maiden names mean the world to me.  Ann is my middle name & I was named after my Mom who has the middle name Ann too.  I don't want to drop it.  Sullivan is my maiden name & it's my Dad's last name (obviously).  My Dad died when I was 13 years-old & my maiden name is a connection to him.  I don't want to drop it.  I have done nothing to change my name in the past (almost) year but that doesn't feel right either.


About two weeks ago, I mustered all the courage I possibly could & filled out the HitchSwitch paperwork to begin the process of changing my name.  I decided to go with my first instinct & follow the traditional path of dropping my maiden name & taking my husband's name.  As kind, understanding friends & family reminded me, I would always be a Sullivan & my last name has nothing to do with a connection to my Dad.  I felt so brave & confident.


And then I cried & cried.  The easy, detailed HitchSwitch paperwork arrived days later & I cried & cried some more.  Epic meltdown. 


Hello, my name is Kathleen Ann Undecided.


Do you plan to or did you change your name?  Any advice for an undecided married girl like me?  

Koru Kate Finds: Words of Wisdom

Wedding Planning Wisdom

Image on Pinterest via HERE

Read the Wedding Words of Wisdom above.  

Repeat.  

Let the words soak in. 

Share with every almost-Engaged, Bride-to-be & Newlywed woman you know.

I plan to share the Wedding Words of Wisdom with every Bride that crosses my path, whether it's a beloved friend or dear client.  These words touch upon the things that may drive you crazy during the wedding planning process- the guest list, the menu & the music.  Then these words bring it back to what the wedding is all about- love.  Everyone needs this reminder at one point or another! 

"Spend the rest of your days with the person you love."  The exact reason for a wedding, the basis for a marriage.  Ah, & such a beautiful gift & tremendous privilege.