{Still Standing} 10 Months

Later this week, December 6 will mark 10 months since my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.

On the first Tuesday of each month, I link up with The Journey at Still Standing Magazine to discuss where I am on my journey towards motherhood after a devastating miscarriage last February.  No, this monthly post has nothing to do with my true passion, weddings.  But life does continue after the beautiful wedding & it's not always all sunshine & rainbows.  I have gotten through this tough time largely due to the support received, & hopefully given, from Still Standing encouraging me to share my journey.  Here I am at Month 10.

Life has been happening to keep my mind off the miscarriage & its aftermath, things like hurricanes, holidays & ovarian cysts.  Yes, ovarian cysts.  Let me back up for a moment.

After much discussion & research, my husband & I chose a new doctor who specializes in reproductive medicine.  A doctor who can help us figure out why I haven't gotten pregnant again, help me get pregnant & help me stay pregnant until the birth of our healthy rainbow baby.  That's our hope anyway.  I wasn't surprised that many others have the same hopes &, therefore, I had to wait over a month for my first appointment on the day before Thanksgiving.

While others were prepping their turkeys & dusting off their fine china, I had my first appointment which was long & thorough.  The ovarian cysts were discovered during a routine ultrasound.  I have one large & one medium cyst in my right ovary & one large cyst in my left ovary.  Their discovery explains a lot of symptoms I've experienced & blamed on other things.  These unwelcome guests must go; their eviction (surgery) is scheduled for early 2013.

We should have more answers & a better idea of what comes next after the surgery.  For this, I am thankful.  At last!  I feel confident & hopeful that we will be ready for whatever it may be.  Bring it on.  

Thus far, my journey towards motherhood has taken me down, up & all around.  Hope & grief ride the roller coaster with me, although I keep wishing grief's safety belt will break & send him crashing.  Each twist & turn brings something new, usually largely unexpected.  At this stage, I can only hold on tight & hope for the very best!