Yesterday, August 6, marked six months since my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks.
In some alternate reality where all my dreams come true, my husband & I would be one month away from welcoming our first child into the world.
Instead, we are here.
Here we are battered & broken yet we are resilient & hopeful. Here we know exactly when our dream died but we have no idea when & if our dream will begin again. Here we are completely lost & we can't ask for directions but we believe this is the only way. Here there is a lot of darkness yet the light, sometimes bright & sometimes dim, always shines. Here can be very lonely but we are always together. Here we haven't stayed long yet it seems like forever. Here is our new home, our new reality.
We never wanted to be here. We wouldn't wish here on our worst enemies (if we had any!). Still, we can't complain about here because compared to much of the ugliness in this crazy world, here is practically paradise with non-stop sunshine & free-flowing tropical drinks.
I will always be hoping & wishing & praying that we find our way from here to there: having our rainbow baby. May there be just around the corner from here!
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On the first Tuesday of each month, I link up with The Journey at Still Standing Magazine to discuss where I am on my journey towards motherhood after a devastating miscarriage in February. Other brave women are discussing the very same thing on their blogs today. Please show a little support & love for the others sharing where they stand in their grief journey or motherhood journey: