{Still Standing} 10 Months

Later this week, December 6 will mark 10 months since my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.

On the first Tuesday of each month, I link up with The Journey at Still Standing Magazine to discuss where I am on my journey towards motherhood after a devastating miscarriage last February.  No, this monthly post has nothing to do with my true passion, weddings.  But life does continue after the beautiful wedding & it's not always all sunshine & rainbows.  I have gotten through this tough time largely due to the support received, & hopefully given, from Still Standing encouraging me to share my journey.  Here I am at Month 10.

Life has been happening to keep my mind off the miscarriage & its aftermath, things like hurricanes, holidays & ovarian cysts.  Yes, ovarian cysts.  Let me back up for a moment.

After much discussion & research, my husband & I chose a new doctor who specializes in reproductive medicine.  A doctor who can help us figure out why I haven't gotten pregnant again, help me get pregnant & help me stay pregnant until the birth of our healthy rainbow baby.  That's our hope anyway.  I wasn't surprised that many others have the same hopes &, therefore, I had to wait over a month for my first appointment on the day before Thanksgiving.

While others were prepping their turkeys & dusting off their fine china, I had my first appointment which was long & thorough.  The ovarian cysts were discovered during a routine ultrasound.  I have one large & one medium cyst in my right ovary & one large cyst in my left ovary.  Their discovery explains a lot of symptoms I've experienced & blamed on other things.  These unwelcome guests must go; their eviction (surgery) is scheduled for early 2013.

We should have more answers & a better idea of what comes next after the surgery.  For this, I am thankful.  At last!  I feel confident & hopeful that we will be ready for whatever it may be.  Bring it on.  

Thus far, my journey towards motherhood has taken me down, up & all around.  Hope & grief ride the roller coaster with me, although I keep wishing grief's safety belt will break & send him crashing.  Each twist & turn brings something new, usually largely unexpected.  At this stage, I can only hold on tight & hope for the very best!

{Holidays 2012} Crafting for Our Heroes

To kick off the festive holiday season, I was really honored to spend the day crafting for a good cause with Jen, Emily & Louisa.  Jen kindly hosted us at her place where we gathered with mimosas, treats, & craft supplies galore to make holiday cards for Holiday Mail for Heroes, a great Red Cross program that distributes cards to veterans, military families & active duty service members around the world.  Crafting is always fun but crafting for a worthy cause is just plain wonderful. 

Not only did these ladies bring their amazing talent, they brought enough awesome craft supplies to make a well-stocked craft store blush.  You name the holiday-themed supply & we had it: stamps, punches, stickers, ribbons, embossers, etc, etc:

I have a real soft spot for snowflakes so all my cards featured snowflakes:

When the fun day of crafting came to a close, we made over 40+ beautiful cards for Holiday Mail for Heroes!  Here is a small sampling of the handmade holiday cheer that will be spread to our heroes:

A big thanks to Jen & the always adorable Humphrey & the too pretty Mila for hosting us in their beautifully holiday-decorated home.  As you can see, Humphrey & Mila are as cute as can be:

Last year, I sent one card to Holiday Mail for Heroes & I was so excited to send 40+ cards this year.  Big thanks to Jen, Emily & Louisa for making it happen!  If you would like to show your support & send holiday cheer to our military, it's so easy.  By Friday, December 7, simply send a signed card to:

Holiday Mail For Heroes
P.O. Box 5456
Capital Heights, MD 20791-5456

For more information & complete instructions (no glitter!), please visit Holiday Mail for Heroes.

Here's to hoping everyone's holiday season is merry & bright!

ever green

This weekend, we have big plans to put up our Christmas tree & decorate it until it sparkles & shines so I have evergreens on my mind.  Speaking of which . . .

Isn't the evergreen ring shot just perfect for the season?  I imagine a warm, snowy Christmas wedding held at cozy ski lodge going quite perfectly with this ring shot.  Or perhaps a casual, mountaintop wedding held at a woodsy camp site for an outdoorsy couple.  The ring shot is very natural, very pretty.      

Do you have the holidays on your mind today?

Photography: Kyle Hale Photographer via

heart marks the spot

Did you enjoy a Happy Thanksgiving?  Mine was just wonderful, blessed by good company & good food.  Now I officially plunged into holiday mode & started dreaming of Christmas . . .

I wouldn't mind finding a gorgeous, sparkly pair of Jimmy Choo heels under my Christmas tree!  But what I truly love here is the red felt heart.  Very simple.  Such a small, sweet detail for a Bride.  I can just imagine the Bride's excitement & anticipation for the wedding as she carefully applies the heart to her bridal shoes.  The heart may not be seen by many, may not even last long after hitting the pavement & perhaps that makes it even more personal & special.  After all, a heart marks the spot!   

Photography: Cly Creation via

{Holidays 2012} still thankful

2012 has been a difficult year as my husband & I have struggled to expand our baby family.  Now that Thanksgiving is near & I'm taking stock of the blessings in my life, I look back on the tough times with gratitude & hope.  I am so very grateful for family, old friends, new friends, blog friends & even complete strangers who reached out to give me support & prayers.  It means the world to me!

Most of all, I am thankful for my husband.  RZ is as heartbroken as me, yet he somehow manages to walk beside me, keep me strong & make me believe our dreams will come true.  Because I don't think I could possibly say it any better & the words ring true one year later, here is a rerun of my thankful 2011 post:  

Thankful.  Very, very thankful.

My husband RZ is at the tippy top of my gratitude list this Thanksgiving.  I dedicate this post to him.  

I am thankful to call you my husband.  I am thankful for the beautiful moment we clasped hands, looked into each other's eyes & pledged our vows in front of our nearest & dearest during our marriage ceremony.  I am thankful for the fun, rockstar party that followed.  I am thankful for our sunny, dreamy Hawaiian honeymoon.  I am thankful for the incredible, lovely newlywed times that came after our wedding & honeymoon.  & for the times that were not so happy or easy, I am thankful we weathered the storms together.  I am thankful for our sweet home we share with our sweet pup.  I am thankful that I look forward to the moment you walk through the door every night.  I am thankful for every big & small moment that we make special.  I am thankful for this amazing life that is ours. 

More than words. 

* * * * * * * * * *

Happy Thanksgiving to you & yours!

Photography: Timothy Glenn Photographers

 

pretty

Just a pretty Autumn bouquet today because sometimes just a little pretty is enough.

Image Cluney Photo via

{Mrs. Monday} Holidays 2012

With Thanksgiving just days away & Christmas right around the corner, I have the holidays on my mind.  It's not all blissful thoughts of love, family & laughter with a nice amount of holiday cookies & cupcakes mixed in.  No, before we can get to the celebration of the holidays, we must face the nitty-gritty logistics of where we are celebrating the holidays. 

Every couple we know has a different approach.  Some host the holidays.  Some spend Thanksgiving with her family, Christmas with his family.  Some split each holiday between her family & his family.  Some spend the holidays with their friends.  There a million different scenarios & the magic trick is finding the one that works best for your baby family.

After years of experimenting, we may have found the perfect solution for us!  RZ & I are following the same formula as last year: Thanksgiving with his family, Christmas Eve with his family & Christmas with my family.  In reality, we consider both our family- I say my family & his family just to for explanation purposes.  This holiday formula worked last year with us spending quality time with all of our loved ones while keeping the travel & stress to a minimum.  Now once we have kids, I'm not so sure the current plan will work anymore but we will cross that bridge when we must.  We will enjoy it while we can!

How do you navigate the holidays? 

Photography: Bring to Light Photography via